So I got tagged by my friend Laura (lulubah) to put seven random things about myself in a post, so here they are:
1) I haven’t put my laundry away in over a year. I have two laundry baskets sitting in front of my dryer and just keep piling clean clothes up and pulling them out as I want them. It’s pretty awesome- the two piles are almost as tall as I am, so it’s like my private game of laundry Jenga getting something out of there. Sometimes when I’m feeling all Indiana Jones-ish and explore to the bottom of the pile, I find some stuff that I forgot I had.
2) I occasionally have attacks of clumsy. For some reason I forget the length of my arms and knock everything over for about an hour or so. The only way to stop the insanity until the moment passes is to hum to myself. Since I call these bouts of non-coordination Schlepprock-itis, I hum the theme to the Flintstones. Yabba Dabba Do.
3) I give my dogs a rawhide treat after I get out of the shower when I get home from work. Sometimes before I let them have one, I tell them to sit down and do an impromptu commercial in my booming commercial voice, like “Pet Pride rawhide treats, for when you just can’t lick one more hairy butt. Buy Pet Pride rawhide treats, they’re chock full of all kinds of crap, and none of them taste like ass! MMMMMM!”
4) I have a secret love of musicals. I own Oliver Twist. I know all the songs. This is the sort of thing that made my parents think I was gay when I was growing up.
5) I was an altar boy during my Catholic school years. I had to quit because I had horrible stage fright and frequently had to rush back to the room with the vestments behind the altar and throw up during Mass. I remember one Sunday looking into the waste basket in the vestment room after communion and wondering if God kicked your ass for throwing up Jesus.
6) Me and my buddies made a three level tree fort in the forest behind our houses when I was a kid. It was pretty much scrap wood and rusty nails we found laying around, and swayed in the wind like a palm tree. My best friends brother thought it would be a cool idea to put a hose on the top level that we could pee through so we didn’t have to climb back down. He set it up. One day I was up top by myself smoking cigarettes we had swiped and hidden up there, I decided to try out the new plumbing. My buddies brother was about a foot taller than me. All the pee ran to the top of the arc, paused, and then violently gushed back out on me. Not a good day.
7) I keep getting Christmas letters from some couple in Washington addressed to the family that used to live here. For the first couple years, I sent them back with a note written on the letter, but they kept coming, so I gave up and started reading them. They’re those kind of letters that give a rundown of what’s going on with the family, and I’ve become attached to them through the years. I just got another one two days ago, but haven’t read it yet. The suspense is killing me- Did Allen from the seminary finish the afghan he was crocheting? Is Ted’s goiter problem still bothering him? Is Sue still having back pain? Man, I can’t wait to find out.
8). I actually made a list for this on a piece of paper before I sat down here because I’m a huge nerd. Number eight was “I am the master of kick-assery” but I couldn’t put it in because there’s only supposed to be seven things. Bummer. That was a good one.
Okay, my turn to tag a couple people now:
You’re it.
