Workspeak and my to-do list for today

Brian: I thought I heard on the radio earlier that it’s supposed to get down to 15 below.

Me: Tonight?

Brian: Yeah.

Me: Here?

Brian: Well, not right here.

Me: Oh, cause I was totally going to go stand over there.

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2 mins. later

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Me: Hey.

Brian: Hey.

Me: So….anything new since the last time we spoke?

Brian: …………………..um…..nope.

Me: Ah…………….How bout now?

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Things I plan to do today:

1. Every time I see Brian, I’m going to smile as big as I can and frantically wave for 10 seconds.

2. Work on my rendition of “Don’t cry for me Argentina” while showering.

3. Eat all of Bob’s pretzel sticks at work and refill the canister with I.O.U.’s

4. Go get a four piece Mcnugget at break time and demand 15 sauces.

5. Print up some I’mnotbenny dollars and use them for tipping.

6. Check up on my Hooter’s application.

7. Plan out the specs of my flapjack roadside stand, due to open this spring along I-94

8. Throw out some sweet chatter at the ice fishers on Lake St. Clair on my way to work:

“Hey fisher fisher fisher….FISH FISHER! FISH!”

9. Have a sit down with Pogo about his halitosis.

10. Stop in at Anchor Bay Aquarium, put a Kroger bag with tartar sauce and lemon in it on the counter, and ask if any of their fish is on sale.

11. Finish up the “Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting” dance choreography moves for my dance group. Finish sewing the “Fast as Lightning!” cat outfits. Confirm booking for the “Funky Chinatown Song and Dance Hour,” set for Sat. night at Eggroll Express.

I think it’s all out of sync because Carl Douglas’ kung fu is too strong to capture in real time: