Recipe for poop soup:
1) Send dogs out to do their business. Add -15 degree weather. Do not pick it up because it’s too cold.
2) Snow. Snow a butt-load of snow.
3) Lament the fact that you didn’t do your job and clean up your yard when you had the chance.
4) Quickly get over step three and admire your clean fresh yard.
5) Repeat steps 1-4.
6) Repeat steps 1-4.
7) Repeat steps 1-4.
8.) Increase temperature to a blistering 40 degrees overnight.
9) Send Blind Shana outside to stir.
10) Enjoy!
So, you know the day is starting badly when the first thing you say when you open the front door is “SWEET JESUS!”, and then Fat Pogo starts whining because he greedily drank all the water out of the water dish because it was the closest thing to food he could get his mouth around. For a slovenly fart machine, Fat Pogo is actually quite dainty about keeping his feet clean. I suspect this is so he can feel the occasional crumb of food that he might walk on in the house. Or outside, I guess. He’ll eat garbage.
So, breathing a sigh of relief, you transfer the chain from Fat Pogo to Blind Shana, and Blind Shana runs out to the new slip and slide that is your yard and does a back roll. Game on.
So, removing the E-coli from your stupid asshole blind idiot dog, you put on your waders, grab a snow shovel, make the sign of the cross, and head to the front lines.
You know what sucks?
The world and everything in it today.
Spell check informs me that butt-load should be hyphenated. I guess that’s kind of funny. The day’s looking up.
February 9, 2009 at 7:48 AM
haha
i did not know that butt-load should be hyphenated. so useful. (but my spell check confirms this)
okay, i totally know the poop soup… all the grass around my house (and the sidewalks) are poop soup right now.
the snow has melted and revealed that apparently no one in my neighborhood believes in cleaning up after their dogs when it snows. awesome.
February 9, 2009 at 11:16 AM
The only thing missing from my yard is the toxic avenger crawling out of the muck and laughing at me.